writeshefali

EthosEnrouteExplorer

Beggars Can’t be Choosers!!!

Country: UK

I am sitting at a restaurant for lunch with a friend, right across my table there is family of four having theirs. In between a “Homeless” comes asking for some pennies. Instead she offers him to choose any food he would like from the dishes spread at their table. He refuses and leaves.

I let my friend know what I saw and the response is he shouldn’t have said no. Aren’t he begging for money to probably buy food and drink? I say maybe wasn’t hungry n it was leftover food.

Country: India

My father is taking an evening stroll comes across an old man begging, he gives him a coin of Rs.2. That man throws the coin on the ground and says “What can I buy with this?”.

My father picks up the coin “For you this might have no value, but it’s my hard earned money. I will surely respect it even if its just Rs.2.”

I don’t think after this episode my father gives money to anyone asking for it……

If I have think on the issue of begging and beggars/homeless, these were either fed in my mind or derived from experiences n readings, because I can’t point to one specific thing for my conclusions:

1) Don’t give money to young ones, because then you are letting them get easy money without working hard for it. So they will keep begging even if they are fit enough to do some form of labour.

2) Don’t give money to kids, because its of no use, they don’t use it for themselves and this gives rise to child trafficking.

3) Don’t give money to any homeless of any age group, because they don’t use money to buy food, they actually use them for alcohol or drugs which kills them.

And frankly from a very long time I have been abiding these rules of mine. I refuse to give money.

But in this process at times I feel what if there are genuine people suffering, those not taken care by charitable organisations?
What if there is some who actually sleeps hungry for nights?.
Can we be absolutely sure, that these people especially kids, elderly n handicapped have a choice not to beg?.
And if they are begging do they still have rights to decide what they want or not? Do they have the right to choose?

Anyway I use to give biscuits to kids in India, and here in UK thankfully there are no kids on the streets; so buy and give sandwiches. Not always, sometimes and in rare occasions; one refused n said doesn’t like sandwiches and another asked for drinks instead…

If possible do let me know your views too. Am I right in what I am doing or am I adding fuel to this system?

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54 comments on “Beggars Can’t be Choosers!!!

  1. ashhishh
    December 1, 2016

    What you said is right. Even,I don’t give money to the beggars, and denying a child is the worst part of my day but I control my sentiments.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Agent X
    September 12, 2016

    My “views” – to use the term you used (and asked for) – are based entirely in my Christian perspective of the Bible. Since your post made no mention of such, I suspect you do not share my perspective. Perhaps I am wrong about that, but either way, your post did ask for my views.

    I write about homelessness on the web all the time. I express my views frequently. I am committed to giving to those who ask – often in the form of money, but sometimes in other ways too, but giving is not optional in my view (unless I really had nothing to give, I suppose).

    I invite you to check out a fairly recent post I wrote (if you are interested in my views that much). I would surely love to discuss the matter more and share more views and all that if you are interested….

    See my post here – https://fatbeggars.wordpress.com/2016/04/02/why-all-the-worry-about-giving-a-few-dollars/

    Thank you for sharing and asking.

    Agent X
    Fat Beggars School of Prophets
    Lubbock, Texas (USA)

    Liked by 1 person

    • writeshefali
      October 16, 2016

      Hi, I am really sorry for my late response, unfortunately i didnt get any notification n found your comment in my spam folder n hence the delay…
      Yes my perspectives are not based on any religious learnings, its all on the basis of what i have seen n learned through either my experience or someone else’s who cared to share.
      I am glad you took your time to share your opinion, n i will surely check the link you provided.
      Thanks,
      P.S. Shefali

      Liked by 1 person

  3. photoenterprise
    August 30, 2016

    I would never give money to a homelss person, but today I did give food. I wrote about it in my post today https://simonshere80.wordpress.com/2016/08/30/what-would-you-do/

    Liked by 1 person

    • writeshefali
      August 30, 2016

      Thanks for visiting n ya since we have doubts about giving money… I believe we can’t be wrong in offering food… So let’s continue with what we do…😊👍

      Liked by 1 person

    • Agent X
      October 17, 2016

      Was really glad to have you check out my blog! Thanx so much.

      btw, I saw where your site said, Country UK, and I just thought I would mention that I have been following another blog in the UK that deals a lot with these kind of matters – largely with religious concerns – that you might care to know about. See it here:

      https://resistanceandrenewal.net/

      Thanx again!

      Liked by 2 people

      • writeshefali
        October 17, 2016

        It was nice to read a different perspective about the issue from what I feel… so it was my pleasure to read yours…
        N Thanks for the link, will surely chk it out..😊👍🏼

        Like

      • photoenterprise
        October 18, 2016

        Thank you, I will take a look…

        Like

  4. Fab Writings
    August 21, 2016

    You chose a very strong and powerful topic to discuss upon.
    All the points are sad but true…
    1. Many of them ask for money and what they buy from it, we never know! And I have saw it myself – a beggar asking for money and later on is found on a small stall buying cigarette!
    2. In my religion, giving money in any mean is strictly prohibited, you can help them in any other mean but not direct money… But still they are more cunning.
    A lady came and asked for money for her poor child suffering from some disease from a man, he refused to give her money directly and went to the medical store with her and purchased her Medicines worth 1200/-
    You know what happened next, I think you’ve guessed it. After the man was out of sight, the lady was found returning the Medicines for half the prices – the medical store’s keeper was also involved in this and they used to fool people like this… You know 50 50 partnership.
    😊
    I hope you are great!

    Liked by 1 person

    • writeshefali
      August 21, 2016

      That’s the sad part, that people take advantage of kindness and hence we choose not to help anyone once bitten by trickery… But then in the process the people who need help are kind of left more miserable… So I guess I have taken a stand, if I feel like helping I do, whether they trick me or not that’s their karma not mine i will just do my bid, because sometimes not helping also gets to me 😊

      Thanks for sharing your insights on this topic, trully appreciate it.

      Have wonderful tomorrows 😊👍

      Liked by 1 person

      • Fab Writings
        August 21, 2016

        That’s why we must not hesitate in helping anyone, but we must ensure if we are actually helping them or just promoting such things…
        This is the reason we must not give them money, we may buy them food or anything in front of us, but you know what example I gave just before, due to some people, it’s getting harder to trust them…

        Liked by 1 person

        • writeshefali
          August 21, 2016

          True, we should avoid giving money n the incident you spoke about its another tragic dealing people indulge in… Can’t really do about it. We actually donot like the idea of someone fooling us more than anything…
          Only thing I can say, don’t trust, if the feeling is strong then help in kind not cash and then just forget about it, we really can’t control everything…Trust always needs to be earned so just do your bit n forget, that’s the only solution for us 😊

          Liked by 1 person

  5. K. Bellamy with a Purpose
    August 17, 2016

    Such a thought provoking subject… I feel you are adding fuel to the system. People are human beings homeless or resting in a mansion. They are still people. I have given money to homeless out of my hand before. I am a changed person. I state this today because of its truth. I use to give money but when I would, I wouldn’t want the receiver to touch me. Yet, I still gave. So one day god decided to teach me a lesson. I gave this homeless man some money one day and he touched my fingers. When he did, his spirit quietly said, “I’m human too.” I pondered that and realized god used that guy’s spirit to teach me homeless people and people living in poverty are still people, they need love, clothes, shelter, human contact, etc. . I also don’t withhold money from children. Gift children with and allow children to create their own ways to work for money. Teach them about it’s value, use, and purposes and that it isn’t the most important thing, as the world has perceived. Instill financially savvy habits. If I feel inclined to give, I will. No matter it’s use. Perhaps give out of Heart felt concern. Leave the rest up to God.

    Liked by 1 person

    • writeshefali
      August 17, 2016

      Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know your thoughts, I really appreciate it :).

      N yes, I have realised that we do what we can and let the rest be with God. We are bounded to each other in this universe so I guess we need to help and be for each other.

      Have a lovely day 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Nisthur Anadi
    August 11, 2016

    Great thought on social issues.
    I don’t know but most crowd of beggars are around temples . I am not talking about beggars out side the temples but inside the temples . Who have endless desires to be fulfilled.

    Am i wrong ? May be I am ! I don’t know ?

    Liked by 1 person

    • writeshefali
      August 11, 2016

      Hmmm…. Wonderful point Nisthur, actually had to ponder before I could reply.

      Desire per say I don’t feel is wrong, it’s when you want your desire to be fulfilled without any effort then yes you can call it as begging to GOD.

      Like the saying goes “God helps those who helps themselves”. So If you are working hard for your desire to be fulfilled then NO I don’t think people praying n wishing for them are beggars.

      And an endless desire makes a person greedy not a beggar. That’s what I think, need not be right 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Nisthur Anadi
        August 12, 2016

        I agreed with you what ever you have said is absolutely, completely, totally right.

        I have no intention for argument. Any sane human will agree to you what you said.

        We live in indrustlization . We should produce some thing and earn be it service or product.

        Begging is sin.

        I don’t know ? I have something to share with you, neither this is right or that is wrong but just a thought.

        In india we had a strong culture where saint and monk used to live there life on alms. They used to go door to door to ask for food if given fine , some times even without getting food they had to be contented.

        On other ground if you are giving food to any human . You should thank him or her that he has given opportunity to you to serve him or her.

        eg :-

        If you are Doctor you should thanks to a patient that he has given you the opportunity to utilize your expertize.

        If you are mother you should thank to your child that because of him or her you are mother .

        If you are king and have capacity to donate , you should thank begger that he has given a chance to you to serve.

        Since inception this entire universe belongs to creator . We all live here as guests but within few years after the birth we start thinking our self as owner of resources. Throughout the life we keep on accumulating the resources in order to be more secure and happy.

        But in one shot death takes away all possession from us and we go empty hand from this planet . All the resources on this planet are being manipulated by human from ages and trying to be the owner of them. But none has succeed so far. Kings come and go resources remains here only.

        Not even a single drop of water can be taken out from this planet . It’s gonna remain here for ever. Resources are available for us to utilize to survive not to hoard.

        I have not made water, earth,sky, space and fire. Everything thing on this planet made out of this . Actually nothing is mine . I can keep the resources for some time.

        We don’t know to whom we are feeding today . The same soul might had fed us before.

        Let us come back to the begging. If individual is asking he or she is begger.
        But do we have any idea how many organization in the world are surviving on donation.

        All religious institutions had been made out of donations. I don’t know may be I am wrong ?

        I always say, what ever we have or trying to acquire it’s for others. If we have done HRM it’s for others to serve , not to manage the self as human but to serve the larger group of people.

        What ever education, material, success, luxury we acquire . We can’t take away with us. It was here . It will remain here.

        That does not stop striving in life. No.

        But understanding that we are born to serve humanity in what ever capacity we have.

        People who are manufacturing car in bigger plants it’s for society. Engineer, scientist, Doctor or simple labour all meant to serve the society then how come beggars are not serving society. They are very reason to feel you proud that you are capable of donating something to them.

        Gurudwara always feeds 24 hours throughout the world endlessly without asking any single question to humanity. Food for everyone without anything in return.

        Again I have no intention to claim anything wrong and right. There all are different perception about different things. On deeper level nothing is wrong or right. Simply things exists nothing is wrong or right. Our conditioning of mind makes them wrong or right.

        Let us come to the beggars inside the temples. Why can’t we always go to the temples to express gratitude to wards life the god has given us. Why can’t we always go and thanks him what ever he has given us. And no doubt he has given us ample for our survival. Why do we always need more and more and more.

        When each of us is (7.3 billion) his creation why do we think our self as limited individual or family of 4 people or country of 1.3 billion. Why can’t we trust him , hence he is taking care of each one of us since human inception will be take care all of us. Where is the question to demand anything from him.

        I don’t know but beggars inside the temples for endless desires are more miserable and less contended than beggars outside the temples. Again I am not claiming any thing supreme than others but things simply exsists our cultural back ground and perception divides them as wrong and right or good and bad.

        I don’t know if I have gone out of context. But feel like sharing.

        Good morning.

        Liked by 2 people

        • writeshefali
          August 12, 2016

          Well Nisthur, I am glad you felt like sharing, in the process I learn too or try to see a different side to my perceptions…

          The things that you have written are quiet right, it’s true that our culture has the norm of giving and thanking that person for making us capable for their service. We are born here to serve the society not just ourselves…. Agree with you in this..

          I also agree that instead of demanding for our desires to be fulfilled we should thank GOD for all that he has given, because there will always be someone who is worse than us. And yes fighting for land water and what not is plain stupidity.

          But as you know there is always an evolution taking place all around us. We keep changing and our ways of how we live also has to change or else we wouldn’t have progressed to where we are. Life wouldn’t be as easy as it is now compared to ancient times. Civilisation wouldn’t have progressed. And one of the reasons for this development is endless “Desire”.

          Hence desires are needed, or else we would all be too complacent to do anything in life, the drive has to be there to keep moving. I don’t agree with complete saintly behaviour simply because problems arise when we become extreme, there should be balance is everything. Even in kindness, even in understanding, even in ruthlessness and even in your desire. And how I wish even in wealth.

          So even if a person has endless desire I don’t see any wrong in it, because we all have endless desire. The desire to have a peaceful life for us or others makes it an endless one in itself :)… I know you talk on soul level but as we have a phase called life we need to follow the rules of life as long as we are here.

          And as far as begging is concerned, yes I had my concerns because I felt even by feeding I was letting people who can stand up for themselves continue with their ritual of begging and not try to stand on their own.
          But now that I have written this post and d response form you and others makes me realise that it’s ok you do what you can. And feeding anyone is never wrong. Whether the other party takes the stand to beg or not is his call, I can’t make that for them.

          And it is easy for me to say you should choose not to beg, if I was in their place, who knows if I would have had that kind of thinking. It’s so easy to say at the place I am.

          Thanks Nisthur for your inputs, hope I haven’t offended you in my response, if yes wasn’t my intention. But I liked this chat as it helped me clear my thoughts too 🙂

          Liked by 2 people

          • Nisthur Anadi
            August 12, 2016

            Thanks for giving me opportunity to express my views. Being heard is not less than a reward . Understanding my views and supporting them up to some extent shows that you are humble and kind.

            I am impressed with your views and idea of end less desires and evolution theory of mankind that leads to development and gives quality of life to us.

            You are having a fine balance towards each aspect of life. I must say I should learn from you how to be practical in life and take the stand towards which is not right.

            Thanks for reading my comment and taking out time to reply by sparing your valuable time.

            Good night ,

            All the very best . Happy blogging.

            Liked by 2 people

            • writeshefali
              August 12, 2016

              It’s my pleasure too… You state out points and discuss issues which I don’t discuss to such length. You challenge my view point which I kind of like actually.

              Though I might not agree to everything you say, but I also cannot say that I am completely right and you are wrong. It just we look at things a bit differently.

              And I can also see that you are humble, intelligent and deep thinker too. Which makes what you say rewarding for me to hear. Thank you for actually taking time to question me and also answer me.

              I hope we keep this process going without any battles in the future. Lol.

              Have a Good Night.
              Happy Blogging 🙂

              Liked by 2 people

              • Nisthur Anadi
                August 12, 2016

                Understanding each other’s perspective is a sign of a wise man .

                Hope you will keep sharing thought provoking posts , if I feel like sharing my views I would definitely do if I have something that is worth sharing. It’s pleasure knowing others point of view.

                Glad connecting.

                Liked by 2 people

  7. Akhila
    August 11, 2016

    you put forth a social issue…and it is good to have that biscuits/sandwiches to share them instead of money..

    Liked by 1 person

    • writeshefali
      August 11, 2016

      This issue actually makes me feel conflicted with my decisions, I guess one of the reasons why I wrote…
      I don’t feel happy not helping them nor do I feel happy if I do… so I guess I negotiate :)…
      Thanks Akhila for letting me know your views I really appreciate it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Akhila
        August 11, 2016

        dont’ worry shefali.. infact i am also having such a confusion..wish if i had a better way to help them..
        really happy to meet you..

        Liked by 1 person

  8. fluffysteps
    August 11, 2016

    I remember learning in one of my psychology classes that people are more likely to help a stranger if it is in a rural environment, as opposed to an urban environment. Part of the reason is that there are many more situations like this in urban environments, and people cannot possibly help each person that asks them for help. I have definitely experienced this myself, as I live in an urban environment, and the constant stimulation has caused me to start ignoring the majority of the requests I receive. Also, in urban settings, there are more people, so we naturally think there would be other people that would be willing to help, so the responsibility becomes diffused. Interesting post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • writeshefali
      August 11, 2016

      I have lived in the urban cities too, and yes there are too many of them. I too ignore them, especially in UK, because most of them are in their 20’s, 30’s.
      Only some rare days, I guess I feel motherly 😉 …I buy a sandwich, if they take it well n good if not that becomes my lunch or dinner… So I buy what I like ;)… Thanks Joanna, letting me know your take on this 🙂

      Like

  9. prashantt
    August 10, 2016

    I remember once when one of the begger refused to take clothes and instead of clothes he was asking for money..from very that point i made my mind and i never give anything to them.I was used to help them with foodings & other things that they really needed so i am on same page with you as per the jotted points.

    Liked by 1 person

    • writeshefali
      August 10, 2016

      I guess leftover food n clothing is below their dignity, money isn’t… I wish instead of money, they would ask for work. Have you ever come across them asking for some work, Never.

      I remember once an old female was selling flowers and my cousin gave her money for the flowers n said doesn’t want them in return it’s ok. That women insisted that we take what we paid for and we realise she isn’t a begger but a seller, we accepted our mistake n took them. That’s called dignity.

      But some of these beggars take it as their right to money. I mean come on.

      Liked by 1 person

      • prashantt
        August 10, 2016

        I haven’t been to abroad but the desires & professionalism of beggers also get up with growing nation..😛

        Liked by 1 person

        • writeshefali
          August 10, 2016

          Heheh…in India, we are such a huge population it’s kind of difficult to control.
          If they would just bring in control and see no kids begging something like that would be enough at the moment… But our corruption of trafficking, can we really eradicate that.

          Here in Uk, frankly when I first came across them, I wasn’t even sure they were begging, some of them are actually well dressed and most of them are youngsters. So I restrain myself as much as possible.

          Liked by 1 person

          • prashantt
            August 10, 2016

            Haahaa..well dressed up beggers,sounds more professional now but really & honestly many a times i cannot refrain myself specially when i see kids begging on streets & i learnt to feed them instead of giving money from one of my friend. You just hit this time on target with this valuable post & you’re putting up in UK so i would rather thought of begging for a job to a HR(on a light note)😛😂😂

            Liked by 1 person

            • writeshefali
              August 10, 2016

              Kudh ka theekana Nani… Tumhaara kidar lagao 🤔😉…neway jab Mein Apni co. kholungi that time I will hire u promise 😂😂

              Anyway ur friend is a wise person to have given such a good advice… keep d good work going 😊👌

              Liked by 1 person

              • prashantt
                August 10, 2016

                Ye baat!! Toh fir bhagwaan ko 10 rs ka prashad extra aaj se so that you’ll come with your co. as soon as possible😜😜 anyways like always its been so wonderful talking to you and i really wish all success to you for future endeavors, found a lovely friend here.Keep writing & stay blessed.Have a nice thursday to you☺☺aur mere patte😂😂

                Like

  10. Varsh
    August 10, 2016

    Giving money to beggars is like feeding birds or animals…in no time they make a habit of it. Anythin that comes easy has no emotion attached to it. One never knows what the story behind any child is, so you can give them something to eat instead.

    Liked by 2 people

    • writeshefali
      August 10, 2016

      Exactly easy n free have no value… But those kids, really what is their fault in all this? whoever is the guardian that’s the culprit. Thanks for letting me know that giving food is the OK n better way to go 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Varsh
        August 10, 2016

        Not their fault at all. They’re just caught up in a situation that isn’t easy to get out of. We can’t ignore the huge network that stands on begging.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. radhikasreflection
    August 10, 2016

    Shefali, you have raised some very valid points. I concur with all of them. I too don’t give money to beggars. Instead we always keep some biscuit packets in the car and give it to the them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • writeshefali
      August 10, 2016

      Oh we use to do the same thing … That’s so nice to know, it feels great that I am not the only one who thinks like this 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  12. kiranmag
    August 10, 2016

    Ofcourse you are perfectly right Shefali..right in your thoughts and right for bringing up this social issue also…its a burning issue especially in India where you see little innocent children begging in public places..I feel they are bieng used by thier parents and elders. Its not a good act. This hampers the life of these innocent little children in a very bad way.

    Liked by 1 person

    • writeshefali
      August 10, 2016

      In fact I think they brought into this world to beg.. Such a sorry state of affairs n these kids when grow up… Repeat the cycle, really what to do n what not to?

      Thanks Kiran really nice knowing you agree 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • kiranmag
        August 10, 2016

        Thats true these children follow the footsteps of thier elders and parents too …discouraging them for the act of begging is the solition but still not a perfect one

        Liked by 1 person

  13. my valiant soul
    August 10, 2016

    All these points that you mention are sadly true.As I have been also told the same,but in return even I dont sit at peace..infact buying a sanwhich or so is much better.Hopefully that helps them someway..

    Liked by 2 people

    • writeshefali
      August 10, 2016

      Thank you so much for expressing your views..yes it true n sad… I guess we negotiate with ourself and decide n do what we think is right 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • my valiant soul
        August 10, 2016

        What else are the options otherwise?We feel sensitive for them but again they misuse our token of kindness!Sigh!:)

        Liked by 1 person

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